Performance Autist

I have autism.

I was diagnosed two years ago, in April 2022.

I’m 53 years old.

Yeah, that’s kind of late.

I’m really torn about my diagnosis. I’m glad to know that all the things that comprise my autism aren’t my fault, and I’m not necessarily a lazy, careless, antisocial, cold, casually cruel, or overly fussy person by design. But now I see everything in relation to my autism, and I have just as much self-hate as I had before. Only now there’s a clear target for it.

I’m writing this blog mostly for myself, but I hope other people happen upon it and get something out of it. I’ll relate stories of how autism affects me now, and memories that have a different meaning now that I have a new prism to view them through.

If you’re reading this, I hope you get something out of it.